Archive for June, 2013

Be Sure About the Lessons You Teach

June 16, 2013

A lot of what I do is teach. I spend more time getting the answers from clients because they know better how to run their business.

It’s just that at times each of us has to be coached or coaxed a little for the answers to come out. The witness for this is that I coach CPAs, eye surgeon, dentists, retail, wholesale, manufacturing and distribution. I don’t think you want me to do your taxes and you definitely don’t want me to work on your eyes.

One example of how the teaching thing works is this: I went fishing one morning and after a short time I ran out of worms. Just couldn’t seem to catch ‘em and always kept losing the bait. About then I saw a cottonmouth snake swimming nearby. He had a frog in his mouth.

Now you probably know this… but the fangs of the snake are angled back  and not a danger when the snake has something in his mouth like this frog.  And…Frogs are good bass bait.

So, knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth and assessing my fishing situation as being about to abruptly end if I didn’t get some more bait…I grabbed the snake right behind the head,…took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now I had a frog and one really pissed off cotton-mouth, poisonous snake. I had what they call a Dilemma. How was I to release the snake without being bitten.

Well as luck would have it I just happened to have brought along a fair sized tumbler of bug juice… ok, it was a bottle. So I grabbed my bottle of Wild Turkey and poured a little whiskey in the snake’s mouth. His eyes rolled back and he went limp.

I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog. A bit of time went by and suddenly I felt a nudge on my foot.

I looked down….. and wrapped around my foot AND the bottle of  bourbon  was that damn snake,  he had brought me two more frogs!!

Teaching takes various forms and yields a wide variety of results.

Author of Breakthroughs  for Success available at Amazon and the  website of the same name.

Confidence Isn’t Boldness

June 10, 2013

First things first: Confidence is not bravado, or swagger, or an overt pretense of bravery. Confidence is not some bold or brash air of self-belief directed at others. Confidence is quiet: It’s a natural expression of ability, expertise, and self-regard. Here are 9 qualities as recently suggested in a blog:

1. They take a stand not because they think they are always right… but because they are not afraid to be wrong.

Truly confident people don’t mind being proven wrong. They feel finding out what is right is a lot more important than being right. And when they’re wrong, they’re secure enough to back down graciously. Truly confident people often admit they’re wrong or don’t have all the answers; intellectual bullies never do.

2. They listen ten times more than they speak.

Truly confident people realize they know a lot, but they wish they knew more… and they know the only way to learn more is to listen more.  (2 ears, 1 mouth, keep it in proportion; Coach Ed’s Rule # 19 from Breakthroughs for Success)

3. They duck the spotlight so it shines on others.

Truly confident people don’t care – at least they don’t show it. (Inside they’re proud, as well they should be.) Truly confident people don’t need the glory; they know what they’ve achieved. They don’t need the validation of others, because true validation comes from within.

4. They freely ask for help.

Many people feel asking for help is a sign of weakness; implicit in the request is a lack of knowledge, skill, or experience. They are secure. Saying, “Can you help me?” shows tremendous respect for that individual’s expertise and judgment. Otherwise you wouldn’t ask.

5. They think, “Why not me?”

Many people feel they have to wait: To be promoted, to be hired, to be selected, to be chosen… like the old Hollywood cliché, to somehow be discovered. And very quietly, without calling attention to themselves, they go out and do it.

6. They don’t put down other people.

Don’t need to.

7. They aren’t afraid to look silly…

8. … And they own their mistakes.

Insecurity tends to breed artificiality; confidence breeds sincerity and honesty. They laugh with you.

9. They only seek approval from the people who really matter.

You say you have 10k Twitter followers? Swell. 20k Facebook friends? Cool. A professional and social network of hundreds or even thousands? That’s great.

But that also pales in comparison to earning the trust and respect of the few people in your life that truly matter.

When we earn their trust and respect, no matter where we go or what we try, we do it with true confidence – because we know the people who truly matter the most are truly behind us.

(from a blog by Dharmesh Shah)


Get In Sync with Your Client/Prospect/Friend

June 2, 2013

So how do I get in sync with someone? and why is it important? This is one of the core teaching subjects in my consulting/mentoring practice. Do these things and watch your business and personal relationships reach the levels of success you seek…

Start synchronizing within seconds of making a new acquaintance.

The elemental stages of a successful first encounter…

  • use open body language.  Uncover your heart by leaving your jacket or coat unbuttoned and facing the other person.
  • be first with eye contact.  Look the other person straight in the eye.
  • always have a smile.
  • always be the first to identify yourself with a pleasant, “Hi! I’m Sarah.”
  • lean subtly toward the other person to show your interest and openness, and begin to synchronize.
  • pick-up on the other person’s feelings and identify with him by synchronizing your movements, breathing patterns, and expressions.  Use your voice to reflect back the mood conveyed by his voice.  Don’t copy her clumsily, rather notice her posture, gestures, head, body movements, and facial expressions…and mirror them.

Particularly important: Mirror his/her voice tone, volume, speed, and pitch.