Confidence Isn’t Boldness

First things first: Confidence is not bravado, or swagger, or an overt pretense of bravery. Confidence is not some bold or brash air of self-belief directed at others. Confidence is quiet: It’s a natural expression of ability, expertise, and self-regard. Here are 9 qualities as recently suggested in a blog:

1. They take a stand not because they think they are always right… but because they are not afraid to be wrong.

Truly confident people don’t mind being proven wrong. They feel finding out what is right is a lot more important than being right. And when they’re wrong, they’re secure enough to back down graciously. Truly confident people often admit they’re wrong or don’t have all the answers; intellectual bullies never do.

2. They listen ten times more than they speak.

Truly confident people realize they know a lot, but they wish they knew more… and they know the only way to learn more is to listen more.  (2 ears, 1 mouth, keep it in proportion; Coach Ed’s Rule # 19 from Breakthroughs for Success)

3. They duck the spotlight so it shines on others.

Truly confident people don’t care – at least they don’t show it. (Inside they’re proud, as well they should be.) Truly confident people don’t need the glory; they know what they’ve achieved. They don’t need the validation of others, because true validation comes from within.

4. They freely ask for help.

Many people feel asking for help is a sign of weakness; implicit in the request is a lack of knowledge, skill, or experience. They are secure. Saying, “Can you help me?” shows tremendous respect for that individual’s expertise and judgment. Otherwise you wouldn’t ask.

5. They think, “Why not me?”

Many people feel they have to wait: To be promoted, to be hired, to be selected, to be chosen… like the old Hollywood cliché, to somehow be discovered. And very quietly, without calling attention to themselves, they go out and do it.

6. They don’t put down other people.

Don’t need to.

7. They aren’t afraid to look silly…

8. … And they own their mistakes.

Insecurity tends to breed artificiality; confidence breeds sincerity and honesty. They laugh with you.

9. They only seek approval from the people who really matter.

You say you have 10k Twitter followers? Swell. 20k Facebook friends? Cool. A professional and social network of hundreds or even thousands? That’s great.

But that also pales in comparison to earning the trust and respect of the few people in your life that truly matter.

When we earn their trust and respect, no matter where we go or what we try, we do it with true confidence – because we know the people who truly matter the most are truly behind us.

(from a blog by Dharmesh Shah)

 

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: